Ola! Been a Long break since I last wrote, been itching to get back to it from some time ( 3 whole years) now, Catching up and finishing up on drafts which were left behind here, so all the posts from now are mostly backlogs from a decade or half a decade, hopefully the ideas aged like fine wine and get a well deserved execution now with all the with all the wisdom I have accumulated over my 20's.
Happy reading !
Satus -
Here we go, another date of living the same day again, only the numbers change the but same events follow, thought to myself as I found a seat on my daily subway commute. Let out a sigh of relief, packed my earphones in and put on the music, just loud enough to let me hear my own thoughts while keeping my noisy neighbours and their endless gossips out of my head.
The automated doors shut us in, the motor revved up slow and steady till it got us into a rhythmic motion along the tracks, I wonder if a quiet train with just one passenger would make for great white noise ? Maybe that's how people find themselves dozing off and missing stations, must be nice.
Could never do that myself, something that the anxiety of strangers had me done in.
Few stations in and floods of people kept crashing in like at a beach on high tide. Among the sea of people, there was one person that happened to catch my eye, not sure what it was about this particular man could've been the colour of their outfit? Or the way they carried themselves, somehow their personality seemed to be as much on the exterior, as within.
Before I knew it, I was stuck in tunnel vision, at one end myself sitting there oblivious to my surroundings and at the other end the stranger who had my intrigue on a leash almost. Maybe it was the music that worked some part of my brain at that moment et voilà Cloud dreams that would never be started forming.
I imagined a whole lifetime being spent with this stranger, the clouds broke and formed back each time the cars had to break for a draft of humans flowing in and out, but this little piece of non monotonous bliss went on for a bit, right up until when the walls of people between us began to thin down.
Now it's one thing to be caught admiring a friend or an acquaintance, this almost always ends in conversations, but another to get caught staring at a stranger. 8/10 times when this has happened to me. it leaves me feeling 10 times as anxious and conscious of my appearance, leading to a quick trip to the nearest available mirror, almost always at a ladies room to reassure myself that there either was or wasn't something wrong that caught their attentions.
While all this went on in my head, it totally slip my mind that now the space between us was down to wafts of breeze and whispers, before I could bring myself to break out of this spell, the man looks up from the book he was so consumed by, in an almost slow Mo eques pace. Somehow he was aware of my gazing upon him, he almost looked straight at me, stopped for a breath smiled subtly and got back to his book.
Misfiring everything all over my body. its in total chaos, so many emotions just gushing all at once, if my reflex had kicked in, Id have road runnered my way out the train leaving behind a me sized hole in all the walls along my path.
Took a few deep breaths, and looked up a the monitor displaying, the stops. Mine was up ahead, collected myself and got up, hung my arm up on one of the arm rest slings, followed by inertia swinging me a bit forward, slowly walked past the stranger, who was still stuck to his book. Walked out and all the clouds just popped right at the door frame, now I found my body turn back and face the train on the station, the doors slid close with the warning beeps, one last look at the man who shall never know of my existence after today.
Almost as the train started to trail out, I caught a glimpse of this man looking up almost in a eager Bittersweet fashion, our eyes meet one last time, two subtle smiles exchanged, like an awkward last minute hug between friends and that was the last we saw of each other.
In that moment It felt as thought, this person had peaked in my head, like my thoughts had somehow appeared on the pages of his book and he smiled as though in acknowledgment, Or the man simply wa stuck in the books universe and I mistook his actions as reactions to my own,
Oh well, We'll never know. Back to working like a mindless drone and hoping I make it through this month with some savings. Life goes on, as it should.
Complevit
