Short post on a few thoughts I've been going through in my mind lately.
There's many things in our material world we cannot understand, among them there's two we experience pretty often. Love and Pain.
What makes them so complex, intriguing and ridiculous. Is the fact that we can't fully understand them.
We can't put either into words. You meet someone, and you feel this electric, fatal attraction towards them, you try to fight it, you try to ignore it, shadow it, and try pretending it dosent exist.
But it just keeps surfacing. All the metaphorical shit, poets and authors speak of. All of that happens, for real.
And then you just start accepting it and
Slowly you start enjoying being a giddish little school kid.
Then someday.
It all goes away.
Not the feelings, the person who was the reason behind it.
Gone.
Hard to believe, something so strong, has been and gone.
All those butterflies get replaced by other things now.
For starters, emptiness.
Rage, lust, greed, fear.
All the colour fades away, world's just all shades of gray, white and black now.
Memories everywhere.
Reminding you everytime just when you thought you were ready to let go.
Part of you has already move on, it's not ready to live in the shadows.
The rest of you just becomes the darkness around you.
You become your own dark ally.
You block out your own guiding light.
Build your own prison.
Turn yourself into a beast.
Feral. Instinctual. Hurting but living on denial.
And when anyone around you tries to break you free of these shackles.
You end up turning on them. Hurting them, pushing them away, turning into this oblique sort of an emotional porcupine, stinging everyone around you.
You aren't ready to let go.
Its Not easy, no one said it would be either.
But If only our human nature was more rational and less of a slave to emotions. We'd believe in something we already know and preach, when another person around is in the said situation.
"Time heals it all"
But whatever, right?
Worst part is we don't respect both of these phases well enough, love is like something of a drug taken for granted, overused and dismissed.
Pain is drowned in denial, rejection and ignorance like a kid trying to stand on a pool float board.
Maybe next time try and respect both, indulge in them equally and impartially.
Treat then like delicacy served in a 7 course star platter. (even if it means a bitter sorbet, you paid a fortune for it anyway, lol)
Because despite the grinders they put us through, one can't truly learn from something they cannot respect.
If we all did that, maturity will no more be a road not taken.
P.s. - again I'm know I'm being part hypocrite by saying you can't put into words and describing the same as such. Yet I think we can agree on one thing, that being I still dint manage to fully get through to you what I wanted to convey.
Words are powerful.
But the things I spoke about are far beyond the reach of mankind's understanding or even the timeless tools we call words.
